The Transformers The Movie Review

The Transformers the Movie
Toransufoma
Kid Rhino/Sony Entertainment
Movie - 86 minutes - 1 disc
$21.99 (2006) 2-disc
$19.95 (2000)
ISBN 603497664429
English Audio - English Subtitles
Director - Nelson Shin
Studio - Marvel Productions/Sunbow Productions/Toei Animation

Synopsis: The year is 2005 and the Transformers have been active on Earth for 20 years.  Over this span of time many intense battles have raged between the two Transformers factions.  The heroic Autobots led by Optimus Prime strive for peace while the violent Decepticons led by Megatron seek conquest.  Humanity has found friends among the Autobots who protect the Earth from the constant attempts by Megatron to pillage the natural energy resources of the planet.  Spike Witwicky and his father Spark Plug were the first humans to befriend Optimus Prime and his group.  Now Spike has a family of his own and his son Daniel is growing up among the amazing alien robots.

Spike's son Daniel fishes with Hot Rod

The evil Decepticons now rule Cybertron and the Autobots are preparing a massive assault to bring peace once again to their home planet.  They have built the sprawling Autobot City on Earth and turned both of Cybertron's moons into staging areas for their upcoming assault.  Many Autobots have relocated from Cybertron to Earth in order to prepare including the brash Hot Rod, veteran Kup, speedster Blurr, brave Springer, lithe Arcee, and powerful Ultra Magnus.  Hot Rod and Daniel have become particularly good friends.

Megatron brutally dispatches an Autobot

Out in space a massive artificial planet roams the galaxy devouring robot worlds and harvesting their resources to fuel its never-ending travels.  The planet is called Unicron and a scourge on the universe.  What happens when Unicron sets its sights on Cybertron?

The massive, planet-devouring Unicron prepares to feast

Megatron sees the perfect opportunity when a transport is sent from one of Cybertron's moons to Autobot City on Earth.  He and a massive force of Decepticons hijack the transport and kill the Autobots inside.  The stakes become real when Megatron leads a devastating assault on the unprepared Autobots with Optimus Prime off-world.  Both new and familiar Autobots must fight for their very lives in all-out war.  Will Optimus Prime and the Dinobots arrive before it's too late?

The Decepticons lay siege to Autobot City on Earth

What happens when a leader falls and the Autobots face their darkest hour?  Unicron is the most powerful (and malevolent) sentient creature in the universe, but why is it afraid of the Autobot Matrix of Leadership?  Journey across the galaxy as these questions are answered and more new faces (sometimes five-faces at once) join the fight.  A new generation of Transformers emerges, but will they save the day or arrive just in time to perish in Cybertron's extinction?

Optimus Prime and the Dinobots race back to Earth to save the day

Pros: Story is more mature than the television series (with one instance of cursing, several early character deaths), animation is better than the television series, voice acting is very well done (final voice role for Orson Welles as Unicron), many new characters introduced, relatively cohesive story progression to save Cybertron, soundtrack is classic '80s synth-metal, some great match ups (Dinobots vs. Devastator, Soundwave's and Blaster's cassettes mix it up), some light-hearted moments (like when Kup tells Grimlock to get his noodle out of his face!)

The Dinobots battle Devastator

Cons: Animation still has a lot of errors - perspective problems (Unicron's size fluctuates in comparison to other characters), incorrect colors (especially for similarly designed characters like the Seekers), 20th anniversary edition's widescreen format is actually full screen version with top and bottom cut off (i.e. some of the actual picture), sound quality is not great, some beloved characters die far too easily (a simple blast never killed anyone in the TV show), focuses more on new characters than the fan-favorites

"One shall stand, one shall fall!"

Mike Tells It Straight: This movie is the pinnacle of mainstream US animation from the 1980s and absolutely screams retro!  The soundtrack is a non-stop orgy of progressive synth-rock played by different bands, but sounding exactly the same (well, maybe Weird Al's Dare to Be Stupid sounds different).  Being a child of the '80s I have fond memories of this movie and it made an incredibly lasting impression.  I was right at the target demographic age, but not old enough yet to question the plot or see through the paper-thin corporate agenda of Hasbro.  See, this movie and the entire The Transformers television series were one big commercial to sell toys to male children.  They succeeded very well as the hundreds of versions of Optimus Prime in existence today can attest.

Optimus Prime and Megatron have a truly epic showdown

Let's start by describing the origins of The Transformers toy line.  Japanese toy company Takara Tomy had two transforming toy lines which were licensed to Hasbro for release in the US.  Hasbro hired Marvel Comics to create the characters and story unifying the different transforming toys.  Hasbro launched their toy line in 1984, Marvel began publishing a comic book series based on the toys and the backstory they had created, and Marvel/Sunbow Productions began airing a television series which deviated from the original Marvel backstory.  It was an absolute blitz of The Transformers on mainstream American kids and they literally ate it up.  The exact same formula had worked for Hasbro/Marvel with the relaunch of the G.I. Joe franchise two years earlier.

"I'll rip out your optics!"

By 1986 a new wave of toys were being introduced to the line and two seasons had elapsed for the television series (some 70 or so episodes).  By popular demand a theatrical movie was created which would bridge the gap between the second and third seasons of the television series and introduce the new toy lineup.  Hasbro used the movie as an opportunity to get rid of the old lineup of characters (most famously the Autobot leader, Optimus Prime) and killed most of them off in the first third of the film.  I'm still reeling from the shock of Optimus Prime's death.  The sheer gravitas of it all presented in a children's cartoon was astounding for the time.  Prime was the hands-down favorite character in the franchise and seeing him pass was a bold move.  You won't see that happen again in a mainstream cartoon.  The other deaths (Ironhide, Ratchet, Prowl et al) were not as grand as Prime's death and seemed utterly callous considering Hasbro's corporate motivation.

Optimus passes the Autobot Matrix of Leadership to Ultra Magnus,
but it nearly gets dropped

The new characters had bright colors, futuristic themes, and I don't think they quite resonated with the audience who had grown accustomed to the original lineup.  They did have solid personalities and grew on me by the end of the movie.  The animation was a big step up from the television series, but still suffered from the same production flaws - incorrect coloring, constantly changing sizes of characters, and simplistic animation.  The plot was very straightforward and it felt like the movie was cut up into nicely segmented scenes for later airing on television (which it was).  It's an action movie with a pumping soundtrack that never really lets up.

Kup, Arcee, and Hot Rod must travel back to Cybertron

Where this movie excels and why I think it made such an impact is the age demographic shifted higher.  The television show was strictly for kids and characters shrugged off massive amounts of damage with no fatalities.  Each episode was highly formulaic with the Autobots eventually winning a battle against the Decepticons and a return to the status quo.  I believe the movie's creators considered the audience for a theatrical release to be older than the typical television viewer.  The story elements changed significantly.  The movie brought in a truly menacing villain (Unicron) who immediately devours a planet of sentient robots.  He's quickly established as an extinction-level threat who can obliterate the status quo.  Then Megatron slaughters a bunch of Autobots and Optimus Prime dies.  Many of the younger viewers of the television series may not have even understood what death meant before seeing the film.

Starscream crowns himself king in Megatron's absence

Now this movie blew me away as a kid when I had only watched the first two seasons of the television series (rushing home from school to catch it each afternoon).  It was a serious game-changer in my early viewing experience.  Optimus Prime died for God's sake and one of the characters even swore (Spike's infamous 'sh*t!' when Unicron eats one of Cybertron's moons).  The emotional impact of the movie coupled with the intense marketing propaganda of the show made a lasting impact on many viewers leading to an enduring franchise legacy some 20+ years later.

Megatron is reborn as Galvatron (left), the unwilling puppet of Unicron

Now let's talk about watching the film today.  The original viewers had only seen at most two seasons of the show when the movie hit.  It was a big deal.  The level of saturation of The Transformers is much higher these days after four live-action films.  Optimus Prime has almost a hundred different figure variations (even a gorilla - Optimus Primal) and several subsequent television series have followed the original Generation 1.  If you are unfamiliar with The Transformers then watching the animated movie first is ill-advised.  The emotional aspect will be entirely lost on you.  Sit through the first two seasons of the series and then watch the movie.  Understand the animation is not at the same level as today - it's hand drawn (which I actually prefer for character animation).  The nostalgia factor is high and the easily the biggest draw for this movie.  If it meant a lot to you as a kid then it will be a bittersweet reminder of those bygone days.  Enjoy it for what it is.  I prefer the Rhino version and hope it gets a quality Blu-Ray release someday.

Grimlock and his new friend, Wheelie, take on some Sharkticons

TO BUY and Recommendations:

Red Hawk: Weapon of Death Anime Review

Red Hawk: Weapon of Death
Manga Entertainment
Movie - 90 mins. - 1 disc
$14.99 (2002)
ISBN 660200411428
English Audio
Director - Jung Yul Hwang/Sangil Shim
Studio - Daiwon

Synopsis: In the land of Chungwon a powerful gang called the Camelia Blossoms is terrorizing the countryside and destroying entire villages of people.  They make counterfeit gold coins  and anyone who refuses to accept their worthless coins meets a cruel fate.  The government is powerless to stop them.  The gang is led by the 5 Dragons Martial Artists with fearsome, almost magical abilities.  Among them are two brothers - the younger brother called Red Hawk and his older brother Muklyong.

Red Hawk is a martial arts badass!

When Red Hawk defects from the gang after refusing to commit inhumane slaughter against innocent villagers the Camelia Blossoms call for his death.  They force Muklyong to drink a potion removing his free will and turning him into a mindless killing machine.  Red Hawk opposes the gang and rescues the helpless when they are in need.  He is a champion of the people.

Honglyong only has eyes for Danlyong, not this other shrimpy guy!

Honglyong dotes over the clumsy, pretty-boy Danlyong when he visits the restaurant where she works.  Danlyong is a big eater!  When her father is killed by the Camelia Blossoms, both Danlyong and Honglyong journey to confront the gang.  Lunyong is a tough, female martial artist with a powerful secret technique.  She confronted the gang years ago and was defeated.  She was rescued from further humiliation by Red Hawk and has been seeking to meet him ever since.  She accompanies Honglyong and Danlyong to confront the gang in hopes of seeing Red Hawk again.

Pretty boy clutz Danlyong

Will the group of friends survive their journey to confront the leader of the Camelia Blossoms - Lord Seobong?  Can Red Hawk defeat the other Dragons Martial Artists and then face his own brother?  It's a battle to the finish with mystical martial arts action!

One of the Camelia Blossoms' thugs

Pros: It's a Korean anime and you don't see too many of these released in the U.S., fairly coherent story

Red Hawk fights!

Cons: Animation is pretty lame, character designs are goofy, final battle could have been better, seemed like a ripoff of Dragonball Z, terrible English dub

Red Hawk's red hawk

Mike Tells It Straight: Some anime (especially the old skool '80s stuff) can be so bad it's actually entertaining.  When I first started watching Red Hawk I was hoping this would be the case, but it stayed bad and got worse by the end.  This movie is a Korean animation set in a feudal era and focused on a martial arts 'superhero'.  He's kind of like Zorro crossed with Ryu/Ken from Street Fighter and Goku from Dragonball Z.

The evil Lord Seobong

I thought the main characters (Danlyong, Honglyong, and Lunyong) were fairly good and had interesting personalities.  Their motivations made sense.  It was amusing seeing the girls try to figure out Red Hawk's identity and his brother Muklyong was a tragic character.  On the other hand the bad guys were totally lame, their lines were made even worse with a bad English dub using too much swearing, and they predictably fell to our hero like paper tigers.  The ending was no surprise and I was completely bored most of the way through this movie.

Red-haired Goku?  No wait, it's just Red Hawk!

Aside from a few good character moments between the two girls and Danlyong there just wasn't much to like about Red Hawk.  It was a terribly mediocre martial arts  movie and Red Hawk morphed into a cheap Goku knockoff at the end.  I'm usually a sucker for 'bad' old anime, but just couldn't get into Red Hawk.  Check out some better Korean anime like My Beautiful Girl, Mari, Wonderful Days (aka Sky Blue), or Yobi, The Five-Tailed Fox.

TO BUY and Recommendations:

Dante's Inferno Anime Review

Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic
Anchor Bay (Starz/Manga Entertainment)
Movie - 88 mins. - 1 disc
$9.98 (2010)
$19.97 (2010) Blu-Ray
ISBN 013138249180
English Audio - English/Spanish Subtitles
Directors - Shukou Murase/Yasuomi Umetsu/Mike Disa/Victor Cook/Jong-Sik Nam/Sang-Jin Kim/Lee Seung-Gyu
Studios - Production I.G/Film Roman/Dong Woo Animation/Manglobe/JM Animation/Moi Animation/Digital eMation/BigStar/EA Pictures

Synopsis: Dante returns from the Crusades to find his beloved Beatrice, his father, and servants gruesomely slain my a mystery attacker.  Beatrice dies in his arms and her soul is dragged down to hell by Lucifer himself.  Dante is unable to stop her abduction and rages at the gates of hell.

Dante and Beatrice before he leaves for the Crusades

He is approached by a wandering spirit named Virgil who offers to guide him into hell.  Calling upon his faith, Dante is able to break through the gates of hell and Virgil follows along with him.  They attempt to cross the River Styx on Charon's ferry boat, but Charon attacks them.

Dante talks to Virgil while they walk through hell

The pair descend through the nine circles of hell:

1. Limbo - filled with virtuous pagans and unbaptized babies.  Here Dante learns a tragic secret Beatrice had kept from him.  Dante must overcome the demonic King Minos who judges the damned and chooses the circle they will reside (and be tormented) upon.  
2. Lust - where the damned are endlessly flung upon the winds of passion and know no rest.  Dante must battle through a horde of succubi before revealing a startling sin which begins to shake Beatrice's faith in him
3. Gluttony - the damned are eaten by Cerberus, the three-headed hell hound.  Dante must best Cerberus to reach the next circle
4. Greed - the greedy damned are boiled in molten gold, crushed in money presses, and crushed by mountains of gold coins.  Here Dante must defeat a familiar face trapped in the bowels of hell
5. Anger/The City of Dis - Dante and Virgil enlist the aide of a demonic giant to gain access to the city in pursuit of Lucifer.  More disturbing flashbacks of Dante's time during the Crusades unnerve Beatrice
6. Heresy - here the damned burn eternally.  Dante meets an old enemy before descending to the next circle
7. Violence - Dante faces the Minotaur and enter the Forest of Suicides.  Here Dante learns a startling secret of his mother.  Later he journeys to the Abominable Sands and comes face to face with his fallen comrades from the Crusades.  They ain't happy to see him
8. Fraud - Virgil departs leaving Dante to stop Lucifer from marrying Beatrice.  Dante reflects upon his sinful behavior and realizes he is the cause of his own undoing
9. Treachery - Dante faces Lucifer alone under the crushing weight of his own failings.  Can Dante possibly save Beatrice's soul and stop Lucifer's perverted reign from spreading outside of hell?  

Surrounded by succubi Dante gets a glimpse of what lies beneath
their attractive facades

Pros: Some nudity, action-packed violence, decent animation, some extras: EA game trailer and animatics, inexpensive

Lucifer holds Beatrice's soul captive

Cons: Superficial story, six different animation styles - Dante and Virgil look completely different each time, not a very good adaptation of Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy (of which Inferno is the first chapter), Dante is not a likable character by the end of the movie

Virgil lights the way for Dante as they traverse hell

Mike Tells It Straight: Dante's Inferno is based on a hack-n-slash video game of the same name - this was my first clue the animated adaptation would probably suck.  It was 88 minutes of brainless violence with some weak attempt at moralization of the main character.

Beatrice corrupted by Lucifer's influence and Dante's sins

Too many different animation styles!  Six was too many and the shift of style was abrupt although most styles were fairly decent.  The story was 'loosely' based on the classic first chapter of the Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri.  Turned it into a pure testosterone- and gore-fest.

Dante wields the power of his faith and a really big axe!

The only redeeming quality may be to get viewers interested in checking out the original literature.  Hell is a fascinating concept which shaped the perceptions of Christians throughout history and even today.  If you're looking for mind-numbing violence, some nudity, and really liked the video game then this movie will be a good pick.  Looking for a good plot with some characterization?  You better run like a bat out of hell (or fly)!


TO BUY and Recommendations:

Teknoman Anime Review

Teknoman
Anime Works-Media Blasters
Complete Collection - 6 discs
1075 mins. - 43 episodes
$19.99 (2008)
$16.98 (2009) Thinpak
ISBN 631595082074
English Audio only - No subs
Director - Hiroshi Negishi
Studio - Tatsunoko Production/Satsu Agency

Synopsis: The year is 2087 when the Venomoids invade Earth.  Though human technology has built an orbital ring around the planet, they are no match for the hordes of Spider-Crabs besieging them.  Incredibly powerful Teknomen lead the monstrosities and soon the orbital ring has fallen into enemy hands.  Death rains down upon human cities and the military is hopelessly ineffective.  Only the Space Knights, an autonomous military think-tank, are Earth's final hope with their advanced weaponry and cool heads.

Blade as human and Teknoman

Blade, a renegade Teknoman, appears and battles the Venomoid hordes and their lieutenant, Dagger.  He bears an all-consuming hatred for the Venomoids and their leader Darkon.  After crash landing on Earth he is taken in by the Space Knights.  Blade's single-minded mission of revenge makes him a difficult ally and he regards the Space Knights with cold indifference despite his obvious need for human companionship. 

Now humanity has a chance against the Venomoids with Blade and the Space Knights on their side.  Too bad Blade isn't the only Teknoman and soon a group of them show up to kick him and the other Space Knights around.  Why are the Teknomen human and how did they gain their terrible powers?  We learn all of the chilling secrets of Darkon and the Venomoids as Blade travels his road to vengeance.  Can he save the Earth, but at what cost to himself?

Pros: Uncut version with a few very minor bits of nudity (during transformation sequences), dramatic plot with family-centric theme, cool mecha designs, fantastic low price for the whole series

Cons: Opening/ending theme songs are lackluster (they're the only parts in Japanese) plus they only use one for each (the Japanese version changed opening/ending theme songs halfway through the show), includes two recap episodes (they cut six episodes from the Japanese series and left the two recap episodes? - bah!), no extras - nothing, box set packaging is flimsy, some sets have episode skips on the first disc (fortunately my set did not), voice-acting and dialogue are weak, original Japanese plot is butchered by American producers, Venomoids? - lamest villain name evah!

Mike Tells It Straight: I never saw Teknoman when it originally aired in the US and am missing any nostalgic recollections to offset the overall marginal quality of this show.  The animation looks dated (produced in 1992), soundtrack was weak (I heard the American version had a catchy theme song, but it's abandoned for the original Japanese theme), voice-acting/dialogue was stiff, worst villain name I have ever heard (Venomoids), and zero extras.  


Teknoman Blade in front of the Earth w/orbital ring

This set is strictly quantity over quality for the price.  Despite having a satisfyingly epic finale there are only a few truly good episodes.  It literally felt like Blade was getting the crap kicked out of him every episode up through the ending.  The nostalgia factor and price/quantity ratio are the two biggest positives going for this set.  Beware of box sets with episode skips on the first disc - it's a widespread production flaw.  I don't think the thinpak version (from 2009) has the same issue.  

I've heard the original Japanese version is pretty good and would recommend checking out the Tekkaman Blade series if you don't mind reading subtitles.

"Tekno-Power!"  Kinda says it all.

TO BUY and Recommendations:
   

Afro Samurai Director's Cut Anime Review

Afro Samurai Director's Cut
Afuro Samurai
Funimation
Complete - 5 episodes
125 mins. - 2 discs
$29.98 (2008) Director's Cut Blu-Ray
$24.98 (2007) Director's Cut
$12.98 (2007)
ISBN 704400079801
English Audio
Directors - Fuminori Kizaki & Jamie Simone
Studio - Gonzo

Synopsis: The Number 1 headband is worn by the greatest fighter in the world and can only be challenged by the fighter with the Number 2 headband.  Number 2 can be challenged by anyone and is under constant attack.  In a battle on a snowy mountaintop the Number 2 decapitates the Number 1 and claims his headband.  The former Number 1's son is witness and vows revenge.  His name is Afro.

Afro is one bad mofo

Fast forward many years and Afro is under constant attack as Number 2.  He's on a collision course with Number 1 and cuts down all opponents in his path.  We learn the details of his heart-breaking journey.  Can he defeat the unkillable Number 1 to claim revenge for his father and the friends he sacrificed on his unrelenting journey?

Ninja Ninja is always hanging around Afro, but no one else can see him

Pros: Great packaging and lots of extras - including 15 minutes of additional footage, hip hop/samurai theme is slick, Samuel L. Jackson is the voice of Afro, some nudity, great visuals and tons of hardcore action

Afro is final battle with Justice, the man who killed his father!

Cons: Storyline is flimsy, one trick pony filled with one-liners and scenes with two macho guys staring each other down, Afro's sidekick Ninja Ninja is really annoying, Afro has no personality

Let it not be said a path to revenge does not include a sexy detour

Mike Tells It Straight: Revenge! Pure and simple. This show (movie if you want to call the episodes chapters) is an unflinching revenge tale with gruesome deaths and betrayals galore. Not very deep and singularly focused, but the visuals are pretty good. Mindless entertainment if you're in the mood.

Afro's former childhood friend - a samurai who wears a bear head

Based on a manga (doujinshi) by Takashi Okazaki it's basically a Japanese blaxploitation film.  Samuel L. Jackson adds a little street cred, but he was in the Shaft remake.  RZA of Wu-Tang Clan produced the soundtrack which is pretty good.  The melding of hip-hop, feudal Japanese culture, and futuristic technology is unique to the series.  The fact many high level stars (Jackson, RZA, Lucy Liu) attached themselves to the property is a testament to the author's concept.

This guy...is super annoying

Gonzo does great animation and visuals, the character designs are cool, and the soundtrack works really well.  It's a slick show, but the plot is really simple and Afro's imaginary friend Ninja Ninja is incredibly annoying.  I guess he's supposed to be comedy relief, but he quite possibly ruins the entire show (along with Afro's complete lack of personality).  I tried to like this show, but it was more flash than substance.  Not much replay value for me and I recommend it if you're looking for something cool to play in the background.

TO BUY and Recommendations: